Installing a new phone. . .how hard could it be?

If I haven't answered the phone or returned your calls recently it's because our main phone/answering machine finally bit the dust. After many unsuccessful attempts to revive it we finally accepted the fact that it was gone. After a few tears were shed we said our goodbyes and buried it deep with in the garbage. We moved on by heading to Radio Shack to find a new phone. After what seemed like hours of listening to the salesman tell us about every phone in the store and all of their unbelievable features. . .blah. . .blah. . .we walked out of the store with the perfect cordless phone/answering machine with several nice features, a reasonable price, but MOST importantly - the words "Easy installation and Set-Up" written on the box. Now thats my kind of phone.

We got home all excited to set up our new phone and the first thing the manual tells us is that we have to charge the battery pack for 15-20 hrs. Easy enough-we plugged it in and went to bed. Twenty-four hours later is when the headache began. First off-the box said that a "Quick Start Guide" was included. Their definition of "Quick" and mine are very different. The book had 20 pages of "The Basics" and 30 pages of "Beyond the Basics". I said to myself, "This phone aint gonna be workin today. I've got to read this novel of instructions first!"


In my reading I did find one helpful bit of information. It said not to connect the phone to a coin-operated system. Boy was I ever so greatful-the last thing I need is a pay phone in my house.

Well somewhere amid all of the mumbo-jumbo I finally found out how to just plug in the phone so it works. But I'll probably have to wait for one of my kids to come home for a visit to help me set up and understand all of the "remarkable features" included with this new phone. Until then I can at least get your calls. Somewhere in the "Quick Start Guide" I'm sure it tells how to record my own beautiful voice on the answering machine-but until I find that you'll be greeted from some robot guy that lives in the phone. Go ahead and leave your message - I'm sure I'll get it once I figure out how to "Listen" to them. Oh and BTW can anyone tell me how to set the clock on my DVD player?