Toss the Guilt and Catch the Joy

Recently I have been reading a really good book called "Toss the Guilt and Catch the Joy: A Woman's Guide to a Better Life", by Merrilee Boyack. If you are interested in it you can buy it from Deseret Book Here.

Anyway it's really a good book and so I thought that I might share with you a few thoughts from it as I'm reading.

The first chapter is entitled "Women of Joy, Not Guilt." She shares a funny poem about how we compare ourselves with the "Perfect Woman" that doesn't really exist yet we put unrealistic pressure on ourselves to be like her and we then feel extreme guilt if we don't live up to this standard. Why to we do this to ourselves? Here is the poem (it's a little long-but worth reading. Enjoy,and have a good laugh.

The Girl in a Whirl-by "Dr. Sue" (a.k.a. Vickie Gunther)

Look at me, look at me, look at me now!
You could do what I do if you only knew how.
I study the scriptures one hour each day.
I bake and I garden. I scrub and I pray.

I always keep all the commandments completely.
I speak to my little ones gently and sweetly.
I help in their classrooms! I sew all they wear!
I drive them to practice! I cut all their hair!

I memorize talks by the General Authorities.
I focus on things to be done by priorities.
I keep our home organized, clean and attractive.
I drop by with goodies and see the less-active.

I play the piano! I bless all with my talents!
My toilets all sparkle! My checkbooks all balance!
Each week every child get a one-on-one date.
I attend all my meetings (On time! Never late!)

I'm taking a class on the teaching of Paul,
But that is not all! Oh no, That is not all. . .

I track my bad habits 'til each is abolished.
I floss everyday! And my toenails are polished!
Our family home evenings are always delightful.
The lessons I give are both fun and insightful.

I do genealogy faithfully, too.
It's easy to do all the things that I do!
I rise each day early, refreshed and awake.
I know all the names of each youth in my stake!

I read to my children! I help all my neighbors!
I bless the community too, with my labors.
I write in my journal! I sing in the choir!
Each day, I write "thank yous" to those I admire.

I exercise and I cook menus gourmet.
My visiting teaching is done the first day!
(I also go do it for someone who missed hers.
I love filling in for my cherished ward sisters.)

I chart resolutions and check off each goal.
I seek each "lost lamb" on my Primary roll.
I bottle our produce each summer and fall.
But that is not all! Oh, no. That is not all. . .

I went back to school to update my degree.
My studying earned me a new PhD.
I split with the Sisters who cover our ward
To spread the glad truth that the Gospel's restored.

I go to the temple at least once a week.
I make my girls' prom dresses-modest, yet chic!
My sons were all Eagles when they were fourteen!
My kids get straight A's! And their bedrooms are clean!

I have my own business to help earn some money.
I always look beautifully groomed for my honey.
I grind my own wheat and I bake all our bread.
I plan nutritious meals six months ahead.

I make sure I rotate our two-year supply.
My shopping for Christmas is done by July!
(It's out of the way early on for a reason.
I then can prepare for the REAL Christmas season.)

These things are not hard. It's good if you do them.
You can if you try! Just set goals and pursue them!
It's easy to do all the things that I do!
If you plan and work smart, you can do them all too!

"It's easy!" she said. . .
. . . and then,

she dropped dead!!

Do any of you know someone like this. . . (if so let me know her number so I can call and see how she does it and also warn her of her inevitable fate.) But in reality. . . how many of us think we should be like this? I know that I have had unrealistic expectations for myself over the years.

The author challenges us to stop and ask ourselves, "What is really required to enter the celestial kingdom?"

She says that we don't need to be a size 6, have an "important" calling, can, quilt, bake, sew, or even be organized to return to be with our Heavenly Father. So what is required? - she says that we can start with setting a goal to be a "Celestial Woman". By doing this we will naturally increase our desire to have faith, repent, and try to be a little better every day.

So lets don't judge each other and especially don't be hard on ourselves. We need to have a Godly perspective on what our work is here on the earth and not be distracted by the worldly perspective. Remember that the Lord will not only look to see what we have done but also at who we have become - and as we strive each day to be more like our Savior we will be . . . (not perfect) but. . .Celestial Women. That is where we will find true joy in our lives. Now that is worth striving for!

Tune in friends, in a couple of days to find out how we can go about doing this. And I promise it will be shorter :)